My blog, is filling up with so much sadness after january 2010. After we broke up, I can never smile truthfully from my heart. Within everything I smile now, there is still sadness within. I cannot smile anymore, I cannot laugh non-stop anymore.

I can never forget how happy I was whenever I felt bored, and will get a random sms from you in class. I'd melt whenever you said I Love You, Precious. How we webcammed because we missed each other so much. Even if we depart for just an hour, we'd start smsing each other because we miss each other.

In the bus, it was so nice, to have you beside me, as I leaned towards you, feeling your warm arm and mellow voice. Even though you are a man of few words, but the words were enough for me, in fact more than enough. I'd look at your without turning away whenever you weren't looking. And when you are looking, I'd look into those eyes of yours, through those spectacles that fit perfectly with you.

I remember I rushed off after Reflections 2009 last year, because you came and I went home with you. I was so happy, that you came to watch, and I was more happy that I could go home with you in the bus. (: It was so warm-hearted, I felt without worries, and all I felt, was happiness and nothing negative.

You were my everything, you were...my smile. Everything I'd do, even if anything went wrong, I'd still smile because I knew that you were there. Whenever I'd go bonkers and stressed over CO, I'd surely call you and chat with you, whether in the train, at Sembawang waiting for bus, or at a fastfood restaurant where I'd go out to talk to you on the phone. You would always call me at the typical 10+pm timing because you were so worried about me. You'd sms me everyday no matter what, especially at night after the tiring day.

Your love was so delicate, precise and meticulous. You went to the finest details, everything...just to make me happy. I was really very happy. You'd stand up for me whenever people bullied me. You'd hug me so tightly whenever I was so tired and rested on your bed. It felt so comfortable, to be embraced in your large warm arms. We'd go out to movies and outings, and had so much fun. Many hangouts around singapore, we've went. Lot 1, IMM, Dhoby, Bishan, AMK, Northpoint, Vivo, Tampines, and even Sembawang Shopping Centre. I still remembered, I only had around 2hours of free time, and we missed each other so much. So we decided to meet at SSC for that short duration, hang out a short while, and then off we went.

I could never forget, that because we missed each other so much, even if it was just a half-hour, you'd still come down to northpoint to meet me, and wait for my bus home. In fact, there are so many times, you'd sit the bus home with me. I felt so blessed, so fortunate to have you, and I treasured everything you did, everything of you. You'd even come to my school to meet me, even though it required half hour to come. You'd also wait at causeway point to meet me, and sometimes we'd catch a movie or a meal there! I remember, Sakae Sushi at CWP. Was really awesome. (: The romantic Jack's Place on valentine's (if i'm not wrong :X). Swensens at NP! The japanese food court too! :D hehehe.

I can't let go, I can't forget. In fact, without all these, I feel so empty. My bus trips home are cold and lonely, without anyone beside me, nor anyone to sms sweetly. My hp inbox is empty now, and I don't have any smses from you to review anymore. I'd always smile at the smses you sent me, and kept them. I even opened a private blog to keep all those smses, because my inbox was full. Now when I return to my chat log and look at what you said in the past, I'd cry so much and longed for everything again.
I have nobody to hug in comfort anymore, nobody to sms without worry, nobody to rush to meet. My heart would pump whenever I went to meet you. Even if it was the 1000th time meeting you, I'd still dress uber nicely just for you.
Whenever I go shopping now, I find it totally meaningless. Because I used to shop for you, in search of stuffs to get for you, to pamper you, to shower you. I'd do anything for you, I'd change for you, I'd pon class for you, I'd spend my entire week's savings on you. I'd fly to tampines just to meet you. Watching a movie I dont like, eating something I dont fancy, learning a song you liked, staying up late just to talk to you, rushing home just to get a chance to talk to you. Now, I have none of these to do. I have no one to shower my love to. I have no one who'd shower his love on me. Life, has become so sad now that I do everything just for myself.

It has changed, the way I smile. I used to smile so much in photos, without having to force it out. I used to laugh at jokes without hesitation. I'd talk on msn with those emoticons everywhere, and I mean it. Unlike now, when I can just go 'wahahaha' or 'hehehehe' or (: or :D, but here I'm crying and can't bring myself to even smile.
I've lost this power, to be happy. I'd wait for smses everyday, for calls everyday in the past. My phone would ring so often. Your number was always the top in my 'recent contacts' list. And my inbox would be filled with your smses. My blogposts would be filled with our lingos, with the things we do. And whenever I went online, your user was the first I'd look for.

Now nothing. No calls, no smses, no happy blogposts. Now whenever I see your user on msn, I'd weep here, wondering why you didnt put the sweet msn nick meant for us. I'd think of the sweetest things to tell you, the most awesome poems to give you at night.
Even though we didn't talk much on the phone, but we'd still be on the phone for hours. We'd just hear each other's breath with a random question here and there. It was enough for me, to get to hear your breath. Even in real life at yours or my house, even if we dont talk much, I was just happy to be beside you. Even in the bus when we just stood there silent as we shared the earpiece, I was so fortunate to have someone sitting beside me, especially when its you.

Honestly, I've been searching, but no one can replace you. You are too special, there is no one who can be like you. You are so different from everyone I know, and that's why I loved you so much. And I was really happy you loved me so much too, although the love was short-lived and it stopped. It took us a hell of a long way to get to be together, but we still did it. Anniversaries, we'd always celebrate. Valentine's too, our birthdays too.
You are just so special, irreplacable. If anyone could be as awesome as you, I'd fall for that person at first sight. But that's impossible, because you are just the nicest person I know, even though you don't show it much.

My beloved deardear darling precious boyfriend, do you remember this lingo of ours? When you called me baby baobei precious boyfriend too? I still remember, and I still love you. *hugs tightly and muacks*, hais...

We've reached a point of no return, as least for me. I can't get out of this love, although I believe you've already done so, and have fallen for another, and I'm here at square one doing nothing but mourning over lost stuffs that I can never get back.

P.S.: This mask, has been on since we broke up. I show this mask to everyone, and whenever I'm alone, I'd take this mask off, and cry it out. Because behind this 'happy' and 'cheerful and energetic' mask, lies a 'sad and lonely' and 'emotionless and restless' randal.

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Name: Randal Lim Peng Soon
Gender: Male
Relationship: Single/Unavailable
Age: 18
Birthdate: 29/4/1991

School: Republic Polytechnic
Year: 3
Major: Sonic Arts
Minor: CO, Zhongruan
Future Career: Zhongruan Performer
Interest Group: RPCO

Likes: Play music, listen music
Dislikes: Sinister, cruel and evil humans
Hobbies: CO, CO and more CO

A better ZhongRuan for 2010
Liu Xing's Zhongruan solo book
Zhongruan NAFA Grade 7-9 book
Get to perform at renowned venue with SRJC
Work hard for this year's Diploma In Zhongruan Exam

Republic Poly:

W34L~
Amin
Cassendra
Denise
Joanne Leo
Jun Liang (JL)
Pei Yong

E35b~
Arief
Fauziah
Hu Deng Kai
Jacob Lau Jian Rong
Lek Yong Liang
Shawn Chin Shun Zhang
Shermane Ten Min-er

RPCO~
RPCO Blog
Ang Shu Zhen
Choy Ee Hwa
Genevieve Tai
Jason Chua
Justina Ang
Kong Yik Hung
Liu Wen Shan
Seow Mei Ling
Tong Wei Jie

Others~
Chew Yao Jie
Lim Yu Sheng
Melissa Tan
Pamela Soh
Sandra Tan
``*``*``*``*``*
Northland Secondary:
Chua Wen Jian
Eugene
Grace Neo
Janice
Ong Siti Nadiah
Siti Mariam
Tricia Tan
Yee Pei Qi
``*``*``*``*``*
Celebrities:
Benjamin Hum
BOA
David Gan
Felicia Chin
Joanne Peh
Kevin De Jiang
Nat Ho
Patricia Mok
Sharon Au
Shawn Chan
``*``*``*``*``*
Others:

Random COs
Lau Xuan Kai (PCO)
Low Jian Sen (PCO)
Ng Zi Quan (PCO)
Wong Yong Xiang (PCO)
Xiu Ru (PCO)
Yi Zhan (BLCCCO)

Designer: BLACKK.mint-
Basecodes: Laural
Image Hosting: Photobucket
Cursor: Doris Chu
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